


Siegemas 2020 - The sun behind the clouds

by ToDragons



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Friendship?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, It's angst, Seriously!, but it hurts, maybe not angst, okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:53:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28269438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToDragons/pseuds/ToDragons
Summary: Thermite lost his mother and sister, but he still has people supporting him!
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12
Collections: Siegemas_2020





	Siegemas 2020 - The sun behind the clouds

**Author's Note:**

> Bitch, I'm dying. Life got me in the softer parts - some work got into the way, couldn't start it in time, couldn't finish it in time, buttt it happened after all! And I actually like it! It's very sad, I'm not gonna lie :DDD <3 But anyhow, I want to thank [Kiki](https://r6shippingdelivery.tumblr.com/) for helping me out with the beta-reading as always. I'm at your humble service any time you need me :D
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!!

“We have been talking with Dom, and we decided that you will go with him, to Germany!” introduced Maxim with a small smile.

Jordan looked up at him from his book, eyes all tired, dark circles under them. "Excuse me?"

He was sitting under one of the windows of the common room, reading under the dim winter sunlight. It was December 18th, the last Friday before their Christmas break. It was the day when they needed to let Mike and Harry know if they were going to spend the Holidays at base or somewhere else.

Maxim glanced at Dominic, who shrugged a bit, then he looked back to the American. "We wouldn't feel good to leave you here, alone. In Germany you will be able to hang out with Dom and Cedrick, and his family. It might be good for you to spend a little time with children and stuff."

"Not like it's going to be calm, or anything. I imagine Christmas with three little kids being a complete and utter, gingerbread smelling chaos!" smirked Dominic.

Jordan still didn't seem convinced. He looked first at Maxim, then at Dom, and at last he turned back to his book. "Thanks, but… no thanks. I would rather be alone."

The other two shared a glance.

Jordan has been like this since- since the end of May, when he lost his sister to cancer. They were able to celebrate his birthday together back in March, but soon she was in such bad condition, she couldn’t even lift up her arm. She got worse and worse with every passing day.

Since their father had never been around, and they lost their mother a few years prior, it was Jordan who needed to nurse his sister. And while he did it with all the love he held, it took everything out of him.

He spent three months in Texas, hoping that somehow, miraculously the illness would disappear, but sadly that didn’t happen. His sister slowly lost her connection to the world as cancer took over, and soon one more soul was taken away, way too early...

After her death, Jordan was destroyed.

Since their mother passed, his sister was his only family; his joy and light. There was no drama or conflict she couldn’t cheer him up from, no sadness, no pain. She was Jordan's island of peace.

Both Maxim and Dominic met her before. They knew that she was like an angel living amongst men - and now, she was gone.

Maxim and Dominic were right next to their friend for the whole time, trying to support him as best as possible, but how would you piece a broken heart back together? How would you heal a soul that was destroyed like this?

It was, without a doubt, hard, not just for Jordan, but for everybody around him as well. 

See, the American - when he was his normal self - was similar to the Sun. 

Since they knew him, Jordan was the loudest, most cheerful person they have ever met. He was always the life of the party, the guy who loved everybody, and who everybody loved as well. There was no place for tears and sadness around Jordan, he always managed to calm the storm and cheer everybody up!

When somebody from the team fell down, he was the first to come to catch them. It didn’t matter what was needed; a shoulder to cry on, a couch to sleep on, emotional support or physical. Jordan gave without asking for payment, in all honesty he just wanted his friends to be okay.

  
  


But what happens, when dark clouds gather up in front of the Sun to hide it? 

  
  


That is when the people who usually only give, need the support themselves; so the Team came to aid him, ready to pay back all the love they received during the years.

Without a question, they gathered together around Jordan to keep his broken pieces together as if they wanted to be the glue to fix him with.

They didn’t just help him arrange the funeral, but they were there after, when Jordan felt as miserable as ever. If he needed something, if he wanted to talk, if he asked for a shoulder to cry on? They were there. 

Not just the FBI team, but everybody else as well, especially Maxim and Dom, who were the closest friends to Jordan.

They couldn’t even count the nights anymore when they stayed up with the man, just to make sure that he had somebody to talk to. When they were on a mission, Timur and the others took care of Jordan, and slow and steady, they were able to piece him back together - after a few months he was able to laugh again. He accepted their offering of being his new family.

His recovery was slow but steady, he got better and better after every day, until the beginning of December, when everybody else started to make Christmas plans with their loved ones and families. Watching all of them getting sucked in the Holiday Spirit took a toll on Jordan, and even if he tried to hide it - he didn’t want to ruin anybody’s fun, after all - he had never felt this lonely in his entire life. He missed his mother and sister more than ever.

Watching Shuhrat plan his journey home to visit his babushka, Ela bicker about how she will get cramps on the train when she goes back to Poland to spend the Holidays with Zofia, and Alexandr arrange a car to leave as soons as possible to be able to see his children before Christmas - well, these made his heart ache.

He was genuinely happy for them, but he felt jealousy and sadness, so he tried to hide from all the cheer and happiness around him. He spent most of his time in his room reading books, or in the workshop, burning his fingers down.

Dominic and Maxim noticed his behaviour, obviously they didn’t need an explanation. The two men sat down to discuss how to handle the situation. Both of them had pretty nice plans for Christmas; Maxim wanted to spend the Holiday in Moscow with his fresh fiance, with trips to museums, good food and good sex. They have been planning this journey since August with Timur. Dom on the other hand got invited to Cedrick’s, and after being separated for almost 15 years, he couldn’t be more excited. 

They were the first few people to sign up on Harry’s and Mike’s list of leave. 

But Jordan wasn’t. For as long as they knew him, the American was always so eager to go back to Texas, seeing him literally hiding in his dark cave of sadness was heartbreaking. 

So, Dom and Maxim decided to invite him over. They were sure the man didn’t want to watch the two Russian lovebirds getting all sweet and nasty for a week, so Germany was the better option. Jordan loved kids and everything Christmas related, so maybe all he needed was a bit of a push?

Neither Dominic nor Maxim expected Jordan’s reply to be this sudden and final. He sat there, right in front of them, with eyes sad and empty, fingers clinging to the book as if it was the only thing holding him back from drowning. His answer was  _ not _ acceptable.

Dom sat down next to him, placing a hand on his knee. “Jordan, look-”

The American cut in. “Dom, I appreciate the gesture, I do, but I- I don’t want to spend Christmas in Germany. I don’t have a plane ticket, I don’t have my stuff packed, I didn’t buy gifts for the kids and that-”

Now it was the German’s turn to cut in. “And that doesn’t matter at all. I want you to come. I wanna be able to hang out with you! You will be my excuse for every time I don’t want to do the dishes,” smirked the man. “Would you be my excuse to be lazy?”

Understanding the joke, but not getting the hook Jordan sighed. “No.”

Dominic pulled a grimace. “ _ You _ would do  _ me _ a favour.”

“And that’s a lie.” Jordan shook his head. “I won’t go.”

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Dom leant back, falling silent for a few seconds. 

Maxim looked at both of them, and placed a gentle hand on the American’s shoulder. “We honestly want you to go, both of us. We want you to have a fun and happy Christmas. You need a little cheering!”

Jordan fell silent. He fixed his gaze on the book he held in his hands. The other two waited for his reply, watching as the American’s shoulders tensed up a bit. 

“Thanks, “started Jordan again,” but no thanks. I’m good.”

Dominic started to get pissed. “You are not!”

“Dom!” Maxim lifted his hand in a calming gesture. The German could tell that he was as stressed out as himself, but the Russian seemed to be more collected. “Jordan, listen… We don’t want to push you to do anything, okay? We just thought that-”

“What? You thought what? That me going and watching a happy family gathering would be healthy?!” Jordan looked up at him. “That I might forget how I miss my own fucking family? I don’t want to fucking go, I don’t want to be fucking happy, I don’t want to put on a fake smile and pretend that everything is fucking cool, because it’s not!” tears started to gather in the corner of his eye. 

Dominic and Maxim looked at him silently, eyes wide. They knew that he wasn’t okay, how the fuck did they miss it? That was the main motivator behind everything. They also knew that Jordan was more than aware of this. 

“I don’t want to spend the Holidays with a replacement family, I want my own back, but I can’t fucking have it!” Jordan continued. “I just-” he took a deep, shaking breath. “I just, I want to be alone, and be fucking sad whenever the fuck I want. This fucking Christmas will be a living hell. I won’t be able to hug my mother, I won’t be able to hear my sister’s laugh-” he sniffed, looking away. “I understand that your intentions are coming from a good place, but fuck” he planted his face into his shaking hands, wiping his eyes frustrated. “I don’t want to hear about this, okay? Dom, your family doesn’t need to watch my mental breakdowns, that is not something you want to have under your Christmas tree.”

“But-”

“There is no but. I won’t ruin your family’s Christmas. And Maxim, I just want you to have the happiest Holidays with Timur ever, but, can you two just… please leave me alone? I’m okay, I will manage on my own!  _ Please _ !”

The trio fell into silence. The Russian and the German just stared at their American friend, and he fished a tissue out of his pocket to blow his nose. Dominic wanted to say something else, but Maxim placed a hand on his shoulder and soon they left Jordan alone. 

Well, for a while at least.

After hearing Jordan, they sat in Maxim’s car for a good hour, arguing about problems and solutions, and the next morning they came back. They weren’t the type to give up on their friend, were they?

After hearing the soft knocking on the door, Jordan looked up and got to his feet, he went to see who it was. Seeing his two friends stay there made him produce a tired grimace. His first thought was: not this shit again. 

Maxim immediately lifted his hands in a protective gesture. “We just want to talk, alright?”

Jordan looked at him, then glanced at Dom. The latter nodded along. With a small smile, he stepped away from the door and let the two of them step into his room. It was messy, books stacked everywhere, clothes fallen to the floor, empty mugs and delivery-boxes on the tables and shelves. Maxim lifted an eyebrow; this needed to be addressed later, but not now. 

“So, what now?” Jordan asked, as he sat down into his armchair. He lifted his legs up, pulling his knees close to his chest, and picked a book up, trying to hide the tension he still felt from yesterday.

“We have been talking with Dom, and-”

“I swear to god, Maxim, one more word about Germany, and I’m going to fucking end you two.” Jordan said, cutting the Russian’s sentence. 

Dom lifted his eyebrow, he would have lied if he said he wouldn’t watch that fight. 

Maxim shook his head. “Not a word about Germany. I swear. Just please listen.”

Shoulders immediately relaxing a bit, Jordan leant back against his armchair, looking up at the duo. “‘m listening.”

“After you sent us away yesterday, we had a long argument about this whole situation. First, Dom said that we should just knock you out and take you anyway, but we ended up agreeing on something else. See, we decided to stay at the base for the Holidays.”

Jordan lifted his eyebrows, frustration and tension building up in him yet again. “Why the fuck!? Why do you want Timur and Cedrick to hate me-”

“They understand, listen!”

“No! I won’t! Why can’t you two understand that I just want to be left alone?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! You say you want what is the best for me, but you can’t fucking listen to a single thing I say! How can you two be such fucking selfish pricks, huh? I can’t believe this shit, why the fuck- why can’t you just hear me, when I say what I say!? For fuck’s sake!” Jordan planted his face into his shaking palms. He wanted to scream. 

Dom and Maxim shared a glance. The latter nodded a little and the German let out a low sigh. “Do you remember the first Christmas we spent together, Jordan?”

Without looking up, the American mumbled, “Yeah, why?”

“Do you remember the time I told you I had nowhere to go? That my parents died a while ago, and my brother didn’t talk to me anymore?” Dominic stopped, looking at his mess of a friend. “Do you remember what you said to me?”

Jordan glanced up at him from the protection of his slightly opened grasp. He looked away. “It was years ago, why would I remember?”

“Liar. You do remember; you looked at me, totally horrified, like you were almost ready to cry like a little bitch, and the next moment you booked a ticket for me to go back to Texas with you. Without a single fucking question, of what I want or need. You just acted on your own, you selfish son of a bitch.”

Jordan sniffed, looked away. He sensed where this was going. “So what? It’s payback time? Now you want to drag me around?”

Dominic glanced at Maxim, who just smiled. Now it was the Russian’s turn to speak, his voice was soft and gentle, such a strange change. “Do you remember the time I told you my brother doesn’t want me to go home if I have a man on my arm? That if I choose Timur over them, I will burn in hell?”

“Shut up, already!” whispered Jordan weakly.

“You said ‘Fuck him!’. You said that you will talk to him if that’s needed, that if he doesn’t want me as his brother it’s his loss, and that you will be my brother instead. And you were ever since.” Maxim finished. 

Jordan rubbed his eye. “Yeah, so?”

Stepping closer, Maxim looked down at his shoes. “What would you do, if you would stand here, in my shoes, and I was there in your seat, after losing everything I had?”

“I dunno.” whispered Jordan.

“You would take him to Texas, without a question,” interrupted Dom. Maxim looked back at him then nodded.

“Exactly. And let’s not pretend that you only took me and Dominic back to your place for the Holidays. I know that you adopted not just the two of us, but Eliza, Yumiko and Mark into your family as well, when they were in need of it.”

Tearing up a little, Jordan turned his face away. He couldn’t stand this right now, it really wasn’t the right time. “So what?”

“During the years, you only gave, to us, to the team, to everybody around you. When you took me to Texas, it wasn’t just dragging me around, forcing your solution on my problem.” Dom smirked at him. “In fact I don’t even remember if I told you about Cedrick first, I think I just said something about spending Christmas without a family. You didn’t know shit about me back then, but you  _ knew _ what I needed; a family. And you gave me one. And let me tell you that was the best fucking Christmas.”

“So what?!” Jordan snapped at him. “Now you would be able to hang out with your real family, but you fucking want to stay back where and watch when I cry, or what?!”

Dominic sighed. “You are such a prick, geez. Could you shut up for one sec?”

With a gasp Jordan picked up a book, to throw it at the German, but Maxim placed a hand on his shoulder. “We want to stay here with you, yeah. And if you will cry, who cares? We will be there, so you won’t be alone doing it.”

With a tear rolling down his face, Jordan looked up at him. “Why?” he asked shakily. 

“Because we listen, and we understand.” Dom smiled at him. “But we also know you. We know what you need just as you know what we need.”

Maxim nodded. “We heard you. We organized this whole thing with Cedrick, because we were worried to leave you behind, but we only need to stay behind with you right now. And we will do that, because you don’t want to be alone, and we know that too. We know that you would like to hang out only with the three of us, but you don’t want to drag us down.” He placed a hand on Jordan’s head, who leant against his side, sobbing silently. “Well, you won’t. You are not our burden, you are our family, our brother, right Dom?”

The German nodded, stepping closer as well. Pushing a few things away, he sat down on the coffee table, placing his hand on Jordan’s shoulder. “Sure as fuck. There’s no way I’m letting you spend Christmas alone!”

With a choked cry, Jordan looked at him. “I hate you, both of you,” he whispered. 

Laughing, Dom leant towards him, hugging his shoulder as best as he could. Jordan pressed his face into the German’s coat, sobbing shakily. “You are such a fucking baby.” Dominic stateted.    
  


Maxim nodded with a soft smirk. “Yeah. But you are also our best friend. We will do anything in our power to make this Christmas less miserable to you, and who knows? Next year, maybe you will be in the mood to be happier!”

With a shaking cry-laugh, Jordan nodded into Dom’s shoulder, relaxing at last. He finally understood what this was all about. “But what if I drag you down too…?”

“Well,” Dom glanced at him, rubbing his back in soothing circles. “Then we will be down together. I always loved to cry about life being a bitch, you know that!”

“Also, there is no amount of sadness that ice-cream and vodka can’t cure, so you know, we will manage. We will spend the Holidays living on food delivery, alcohol and shitty Christmas movies, and it will be a living Hell,” Maxim looked down at Jordan, who glanced up at him. “But we will be there together, just the three of us. We will manage!”

Jordan sniffed and nodded gently. “Yeah… I think I would like that.”

Grinning, Dominic hugged him again, and that was it. 

The Sun was the brightest after a storm, anyway.


End file.
